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Parents Info
 People often forget that fathers-to-be are equally affected by the process of pregnancy and childbirth and parenthood of multiples. (Hey, we have feelings too!). Most of the attention seems to primarily focus on the Mother, which can lead some men to feel left out.
Some men are left wondering, "What can I do to help?" (Besides screaming in disbelieve) they scratch their heads and decide that there isn't anything they can do, leaving them and their partners feeling rejected and unloved. The early stages of pregnancy is very hard for anyone who has not experienced pregnancy first hand and it's worst if you are expecting multiples; for that reason it is imperative for the father to relay his feelings and try to understand his wife's feelings. This will be a very difficult time for both but it can be overcome with some basic communication skills. Talk, talk, and talk!
Reading books can help you to understand some of the physical changes your partner is experiencing but most of these books can't explain the mental effects having a baby can have on a woman. Another thing to remember is that her hormones will be running rampant, she might seem like she has really bad PMS… she will be fine one minute and whoosh! Up in flames the next.
During pregnancy a woman might be feeling:
Weepy.
Angry.
Sick.
Grumpy.
Afraid.
Excited.
Elated.
A nasty metallic taste in her mouth.
Sore (Breasts may have swollen with the pregnancy hormones)
Extremely tired
Worried
Un-sexy
Fat
So what can you do?
Pamper her as much as possible.
Take her iced tea or any other beverage she may enjoy or a snack in bed.
Be sympathetic (waking up every morning and feeling or being sick is horrible)
Cook her dinner
Put a load of clothes in the washing machine for her.
Share the workload with her so she is less tired at the end of the day.
Show her you care by being gentle with her.
Say flattering things to her to boost her confidence.
Take an interest in her appointments.
Read as much as possible about pregnancy and childcare.
Share the decisions regarding your new babies.
Most importantly be sincere in all you do and say.
Remember, keep talking to each other about feelings (yours and hers) and you will become stronger as a couple and feel more confident as a soon to be dad.
At birth you can give her support and encouragement, and help tell the staff what she wants them to know about pain relief and how she wants the birth to progress.
After birth she will need you to support her and bring her changes of clothes for the babies and herself and keep the hordes of visitors at bay. Both of you will feel excited or nervous about having 2 or more extra mouths to feed, you might wonder how on earth you will cope with multiple screaming babies, toddlers or teenagers in the house, you might be panicking over how much things cost and how you will manage to make ends meet.
For that reason as the pregnancy progresses it is a great time to look around and work out what you both think you should buy for the babies as a priority, don't buy everything at once, unless you can truly afford it, you could buy essential things one month, and keep adding as you may need. Buying things like highchairs can wait until your babies are ready to use them, just buy what you need when you need it!
How can I be a great Dad?
Most people are too hard on themselves when it comes to parenthood, we all want to be something out of a fairy tale and realistically it isn't going to happen!
Most children's idea of a great dad is someone who can give them the simple things in life:
Take them to the park.
Have a story read to them.
Love and care.
You can have great fun being a dad, you just have to pitch in and help.
**Remember, you can make life easier for yourself in the long run by helping your partner with the childcare:
Changing diapers.
Feeding.
Take them for a walk in their stroller while your partner has a bath or a nap, in peace!
Any other chore that needs to be done.
So there! There are other ways you can help and be a great Dad! Just have fun be a friend but foremost love, care, understand and have fun while doing it. Make sure you help as much as possible; fatherhood makes a pretty poor spectator sport!
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